Self-reflection

Rating myself is sort of challenging because I find myself to be my biggest critic, but here goes nothing!  

As far as my physical well-being goes, I would rate myself a 6.  I gave myself this rating because I'm not in my best shape of my life but I'm also not in the worse shape either.  All throughout my childhood into my late teen's, I was very active and into sports so weight was never an issue.  After giving birth to my son at the age of 20, I gave up on my physical health including my weight.  About 3 years ago, I decided to make a change because I wasn't happy anymore. I've since lost about 20 pounds but it's still a working progress.  My ultimate goal is to lose about 10-15 more pounds; this ultimately depends on how I feel 10 pounds lighter.  If I'm not content with being 10 pounds lighter, I will continue to lose weight until "I" feel healthy; not the way others perceive me.  There are two ways for me to achieve this ultimate goal: healthy "clean" eating and exercise.  I have the exercise part down but need to work on choosing healthier foods for myself and I also need to stop overeating!

Spiritually, I would rate myself a 4 and that's thinking positively!  I rated myself a 4 because I think I need major improvement in this area.  Growing up, even though I was baptized, my family was not involved in the church (with the exception of my grandmother).  Although I do believe in God, I do not follow any specific religion.  This is something I'd like to change and make one of my goals.  My ultimate goal will be to study different religions to find the one that suits me best and then to follow it as part of my optimal wellness.  To do this, I will probably start small and research the fundamentals of a few different types of religions to narrow my search down.

Psychologically speaking, I would rate myself a 7.  I've come a long way and feel I've grown the most in this area, especially in the past 2 years.  In these past 2 years, I've learned a lot about myself and my "true" feelings, not feelings that have been drilled into my head by family and close friends (and my ex-boyfriend).  I feel that there are areas that I need to fix (or heal), insecurities that have formed over the years from bad relationships, etc. One goal that I'd like to set for myself in part of healing my psychological well-being is to further explore myself, including learning to love myself completely.  This includes flaws and all.  I gotta learn to leave behind the things I cannot change and embrace all the good things I've learned and will continue to learn about myself.  I strongly believe that the more I've learned about myself, the stronger I've felt, psychologically speaking.


After completing the Crime of the Century exercise, I felt completely relaxed.  At first, I couldn't quite get into it because the visual kept changing and my slight a.d.d. was kicking in.  I tried hard to focus on the sounds; the music and the calm monotone of the man's voice.  When I was able to pay attention to my breathing and the noise, the background images became more hypnotic than distracting.  I thought overall this was an interesting exercise.


~Jen